Face to Ace
A boy becomes enthralled by Ace while he's on a trip to the Love Realm with Loveolas. Plot Loveolas is in his room sharpening his arrows when Mace and Ace float into his room. "What's up little bro?" Mace asks Loveolas, making Ace wretch. "You're just getting blacker and blacker, aren't you?" Ace asks his twin. "Hey you two," Loveolas greets, "I'm sharpening my arrows for my trip to the Love Realm." "Isn't that the place where you put those who have yet to find true love?" Ace asks. "Yeah, it's sort of my private headquarters too." Loveolas says. "That place is too mushy for me," Mace says, "They all think everyone is their true love." Loveolas rolls his eyes and flies downstairs to leave on his journey and passes Jake sitting on the throne. "Where are you off to, Love?" Jake asks happily. "I'm off to take a visit to the Love Realm to see if I can match someone today." Loveolas answers. "Oh goody, do you think I can come? It'd be really nice to see your process at work and make someone happy." Jake says, to which Loveolas nods his head and the two head out the door. Ace catches up and says he wants to go as well and asks how they're getting there. "We're just gonna take a portal there," Loveolas says, "I'm going straight to my headquarters to get down to business." The trio reach the center of the Love Realm which is blooming with pink architecture and nearly every shape is a heart. "Okay, so you two, explore all you want while I just go check in on my workers and I'll get back to you in a bit." Loveolas says and goes into his office building. Jake and Ace float around and see all of the residents enjoying their love-filled utopia along with some love-themed knock-offs of Outworld and Earthrealm stores and restaurants. "The 'Heart Store'?" Ace asks, "Is that supposed to be the Apple Store?" "Let's go in and find out." Jake says, and the two boys go into the electronics store. "Oh my Kahn, Loveolas set these people up with the best." Jake says, shocked at the glory of the store. An employee sees Jake and Ace and walks over to assist them. "May I help you two with something?" the employee asks. While Jake is talking, the employee looks at Ace and soon becomes enthralled with him, and this drowns out Jake's voice, prompting him to ignore Jake and getting Ace's attention. "Hey, n---a, he's talking to you." Ace says, annoyed at the employee's staring. "Oh, I'm sorry, what were you saying?" the employee asks. "Alex is it?" Ace says, looking at the employee's name-tag. "Yes, how'd you know?" Alex asks. Ace, confused at his sudden stupidity says, "I looked at your obvious name tag that says, 'Alex'." "Oh, right." Alex says, embarrassed. "Well, we don't really need any help, we're just gonna leave now," Jake says, "Bye Alex." Jake and Ace walk away, with Ace whispering, "What a dumbass," to Jake, and Alex whispering to himself, "I've found the one." The two brothers float to Loveolas's headquarters where they meet the secretary. "Hi, can you point us to Loveolas's Kahn's office?" Jake asks. "Who the hell are you?" she asks. "We're his brothers and honestly, we could ask you the same damn question since you want to have that tone of voice." Ace snaps. "I'm Fine...Fine Dining." Fine replies. "Bitch..." Ace says, unbelievably, "That's your fucking name? I'd hate to see how drunk, high, and retarded your parents were when they had you." "Well what's your fucking name since you want to go on mines?" Fine asks, annoyed at Ace's criticism. "My name is Ace Kahn," Ace says smugly, "And it's 'Ace' because I'm better than every motherfucker in this realm, and if anybody has a problem with it, please stand up." Fine decides to mess with Ace and stands up. "So what now, bitch?" Fine says, and Ace suffocates her by creating a solid constructed sphere around her head, causing her to attempt to run and trip over her desk where she falls and dies at Jake's feet, much to his shock. Ace breathes out consolingly and says, "Let's go," as he and Jake go to find Loveolas's office. They reach his office and Ace says, "You're gonna need a new secretary, particularly one that isn't black." "Ace, you know I don't discriminate," Loveolas asks, "So what have you two been up to, other than killing my wonderful secretary?" "Well we looked around and saw some beautiful sights and of course some good looking people." Jake says happily. "Ah yes, and I also got an alert that Ace made someone very happy today." Loveolas says. "If it's your secretary because she got sent to hell, then so be it." Ace replies. "No, no, she's, dad bless her soul, being tortured. But, one of my citizens are in love with you." Loveolas says. "Oh, Dad, no, not that fucker." Ace says. "Oh come on big brother, I think you should give him a chance. You and Mace are such loners, and I think that maybe, just maybe, if you started trying to have a boyfriend you'd feel better and be less evil than how you used to be." Loveolas lectures. "What makes you say I need to be less evil?" Ace asks. "Well..." Jake starts, "You have a job that requires you to be part of the balance of the universe along with Mace. It's starting to seem like you two are switching places, or if not, you're starting to put more power on his side than what's supposed to be on your side." "And you think this is because I don't have a boyfriend?" Ace asks, annoyed at his brothers' opinions. "No, just hear me out," Jake says, "Ever since Jamal started beating Ro Ro and mistreating him, you've been a great supportive and protective brother like you're supposed to but it seems like you'll forever be focused on killing Jamal when Ro Ro finally gets tired of him. That's not the real you and it never should be." Ace thinks for a moment, possibly giving his brothers some reassurance, but then changes his mind and says he prefers to stay the way he is. "Well then, speaking of love and new relationships, looks like Jamal got a new girlfriend." Loveolas says, looking on his love monitors. "Wait, what the fuck?" Ace says. The trio look onto the monitors and see Jamal at his house texting her. "I hope Ro Ro doesn't find out about it." Jake worries, to which Ace's phone vibrates and he says, "Too late..." Back in Outworld, Ro Ro is in Mace and Ace's room where he and Mace are watching Jamal on Mace and Ace's super computer. "I can't believe that bastard and that bitch!" Ro Ro exclaims. "I know, isn't she disgusting." Mace says. "Who is she? I want to know so I can feed her to Andy!" Ro Ro continues and calls Bitch Puddin' and Nya into the room. "Boo, don't worry yourself, you're better without him anyway." Nya says, attempting to calm Ro Ro down. "Plus, he's a dirty, Jordanian wetback bastard anyway," Bitch Puddin' says, "Also, does this mean we get to kill him now?" "No, I still want him alive." Ro Ro says, to which Nya replies, "I don't see why with all he's done to you. I would've been done with him." "Mace, show me who this girl is so I know who to look for at school." Ro Ro says. Mace pulls the girl's entire identity up in a portal complete with her name, age and 24-hour location tracking. "Wow, you guys are good," Ro Ro compliments. "We spy on Jamal 24/7. We also have video of a lot of nasty naked things from him that I will send to your phone later. By the way, it's not as big as you want it." Mace says, which makes Nya cringe and she leaves the room. "Antyway, her name's Shieanne, and from the looks of her family tree and genes, she's a Blasian." Mace continues. "What the fuck is a 'Blasian'?" Ro Ro asks, to which Bitch Puddin' replies, "A n---a mixed with a walking computer, A.K.A. an Asian. It's like putting a super computer on steroids, and if she had any German in her...she'd be a monster..." and Mace adds, "Like Jason." making them all shudder. "Well, I won't kill the girl, yet. I'll just be in my room making up a strategy to combat this bullshit Jamal constantly brings to the table. Kahn, it's like I'm dealing with a special kid." Ro Ro says. In the Love Realm, Loveolas is checking out while Ace sits on the steps outside and Jake takes pictures. "I wish mom and dad were still here." Jake says while taking pictures. "You're not about to get all sentimental on me are you?" Ace asks, hoping not to be annoyed. "No, I'm not. I'm just saying that if they were still here, they'd have you straight," Jake says. "There's nothing wrong with me not wanting a boyfriend, get that in your head." Ace says and starts texting Mace. Jake sees Alex walking towards them and decides to leave Ace outside with him. "I'm going to go check on Loveolas." Jake says and goes back into the building. Alex walks up to Ace and shyly greets him. "Listen, I just want to tell you that-" Alex is cut short and Ace finish his sentence, "That you're in love with me." "How'd you know?" Alex asks. "My brother's Cupid, I'd be retarded not to know." Ace answers. "Wow, you know everything, that's, that's cool." Alex says, amazed by Ace's knowledge. "Look, you seem like a really nice guy and all but, a relationship is just not what I'm looking for right now and I'm going to spare you some hope. Even when I am looking for a relationship, there's more than likely going to be a high chance that I won't want you, so, you might want to start looking for someone else." Ace says. Alex says "Ok," and sadly walks away. Jake, who was listening and watching the entire conversation, sighs and walks outside with Loveolas and the trio return to Kahn Palace. Short: Bitch Puddin' Rants (Jamal) "Hello bitches and n----s and welcome to 'Bitch Puddin' Rants'! I'm your host Bitch Puddin', of course you all know me, I'm the craziest motherfucker in Outworld, and the most dangerous. Today I'm going to be ranting about a certain someone who my brother Ro Ro is just naïvely in love with: Jamal Al-Sallal. This Black-Mexican-Jordanian asshole is...an asshole, it's just the perfect word to describe him. In fact it's so perfect, that even his own father ''has called him an asshole. This fucker has marked poor lovable Ro Ro for the pettiest of reasons, from 'He touched me,' to 'He was bothering someone' else. Now that last reason really gets me going because he hit Ro Ro for messing with his own granddaughter Anaya, who is my niece, all because he had a crush on her. Now if no one asked for your interference then it's not your job to 'punish' someone else and in all honesty, it's high school and I don't care whether Ro Ro wants to keep Jamal around or not, because if he hits him, I'm going to hit him back for Ro Ro, 2,000 times harder. If he makes Ro Ro bleed, I'm taking out an organ. Whether it's vital or not depends on what the fuck I grab first. If he man-handles Ro Ro, I'm going to superman-handle him myself, ''without my cloak. Whatever it takes to get the point across to that special ed motherfucker that a Kahn is one not to be fucked with because those that fuck a Kahn get raped. I'm Bitch Puddin' and it's been real fun tonight, y'all. Violence!" Trivia * It is unknown whether Loveolas has changed his headquarters over from Killerwood or if there is more than one. * This episode debuts a new short called "Bitch Puddin' Rants" where Bitch Puddin' rants about people.